With Tongue in Cheek, a Look at the Great New World Ahead

Upon reading the evening news, it would appear that almost everyone agrees at this point that global warming or climate change is happening.  And, further, that it's being driven by the increasing burning of fossil fuels which throw greenhouse gases in the air, especially carbon dioxide.  Greenhouse gases slowly cause heat to be trapped beneath the upper atmosphere causing warming.

So the extreme position is simply to ban the burning of fossil fuels.

What Else?

Let’s assume for the moment that it is politically possible to eliminate the burning of fossil fuels.  If, as the argument goes, fossil fuels present an existential threat to human life, we should ban it or reduce its use to the absolute minimum of minimums.

It’s clear that it isn’t politically possible to reduce fossil fuel use by any significant amount.  This exercise is meant to see what else we would ban if we could.

Cigarettes

This is a no brainer.  As much as some Western countries have dramatically reduced cigarette smoking, the number of smokers still hovers around 20%.  No amount of inconvenience will stop hard core smokers.  But if we said No Smoking means NO Smoking, wouldn’t the world’s population be healthier?  Wouldn’t our hard strapped health care services get some breathing room?  Wouldn’t health care costs come down?

To a lesser extent, the ban should apply to all tobacco products.

Sugar

Sugar is the leading cause of obesity and obesity is the leading cause of heart disease and diabetes, two of the biggest killers in the world.   If we eliminated sugar we’d have much lower dental bills, hospitals would see much fewer massive coronaries, and the ravages of diabetes would be reduced dramatically.

Alcohol

From the large number of simply mean drunks, to the people who think they can drive even if they can’t walk straight, to the long term effect of too much alcohol, we might reconsider the repeal of Prohibition in the United States and bring about worldwide Prohibition.  A lot fewer weddings would be ruined if there was no alcohol about.

Meat

Let’s put a broad swath of lipstick on this pig: animal flatulence presents a clear and present danger.  In addition, many people believe that meat is not good for us.  A little bit of meat once in a while might be okay at a celebration.  But the thrice a day meat habit ought to be banned.  Don’t you agree?

Las Vegas

The government of South Africa recently passed a law allowing the confiscation of land owned by whites without compensation.  There might be some historical justice here but the larger point is why can’t we confiscate Vegas casinos and turn them into housing for people who need it?

Wouldn’t our homeless be better off ensconced in the Presidential suite and wouldn’t  families be better off if we play free games online?

Chemical Additives

Many people swear by the health benefits of eliminating all processed foods.  If they feel better, wouldn’t we?  When you’re at the supermarket, notice how many foods are hidden behind packaging.  The packaging is designed to make you want the prize within.  But all of these foods are laden with chemicals.

We can’t so much as pronounce the names of the chemicals.  Do one in ten thousand people know what the chemicals are and what they do in our bodies?  Younger people don’t remember when diet drinks tasted terrible because the artificial sweetener left a bitter aftertaste.  Then a chemical was discovered that doesn’t leave a bitter aftertaste.  But this chemical decomposes into dangerous other chemicals and we guzzle it by the case.

The artificial sweetener that actually tastes good is used in hundreds or thousands of products that entice us with promises of low calories but don’t tell us about those harmful chemicals swimming up and down our bloodstream.

Coffee

We should sleep more so we need coffee less.  Coffee has too much caffeine and decaffeinated coffee gets that way because of the harsh chemicals they use to take out the caffeine.

Football

We mean American football.  The massive number of debilitating injuries each year is just the tip of the iceberg.  Kids begin playing football at very young ages and many suffer life-long inconvenience because of injuries they got playing football. 

It gets worse in high school and college.  A lot of young men think it looks good on a resume that they played college football.  However, many of these young men will have brain damage that shows up only much later in life.

Pornography

Makes men stupid and makes a lot of women stupid pandering to men’s desire to be stupid.

Short List

This is admittedly a short list.  We might include cellular phones (cause brain damage); laptop computers (too hot; cause male impotence); trans fats (cause every ill known to man); capitalism (causes exploitation, competitiveness, bankruptcy, and more); and the Electoral College (prevented Al Gore and Hillary Clinton from becoming President).

Well, Why Not?

The biggest reason we don’t want to ban all these things is because we don’t want to ban all these things even if we admit that we’d be better off if the government banned them.

The next biggest reason not to ban all these things is that we’re not ready.  We need to become mentally, emotionally, and psychologically ready for such a change.  Eliminating fossil fuels doesn’t require preparation.  We could walk, ride bikes, or take public transportation energized by electricity produced by wind or solar technology.

When it comes to beer, we’ll never agree to go cold turkey.  When it comes to fossil fuels, we should go cold turkey whether we’re ready to or not.

Who Will Administer the Change?

Since we’re also on the verge of eliminating capitalism, we might just accept the fact that the government will always be there for us.